The End of the Trumpian Era Does Not Mean We Should Forget
Let’s use our rage to be productive and move forward.
The election is over, and the projections point to Joe Biden becoming the next President of the United States. As a result, I’ve seen a lot of folks on social media saying, “Now it’s time to heal,” “Now it’s time for us to unite,” “Now it’s time to undo what has been done over the past four years.” The thing is that the human ugliness that’s come out over the last four years didn’t just suddenly appear out of nowhere. That foulness remained hunkered down dormant, lurking, waiting. It surfaced because an irresponsible and inept President enabled it and made it acceptable for people to reveal their darkest natures.
When I see all these calls to ‘forgive and forget,’ I become furious. I thought it was just me being a resentful jerk.
Why are people all of the sudden willing to ‘get along’? They weren’t willing to get along before the Associated Press projected Biden the winner of the election. There was unrestrained mudslinging from both sides. But now, all of a sudden, the ‘winners’ feel like reconciling with the ‘losers’? Hypocrisy.
The people who were racist, ignorant, and hateful before are still going to be that way after Biden takes office. But it’s okay to ‘unite’ because your President is now going to be in charge? Have you considered that those people may not want your olive branch because they’re just as pissed off now as we have been for the past four years?
What happened to the disdain you had for these people before Biden was projected winner of the election? Does it now go to sleep until the next time we get another toxic President in office who enables people to be acrimonious?
I came across this NBC News article ‘Post-election calls for unity are nothing but toxic positivity that ignores damage Trump’s done,’ written by Tonya Russell. I breathed a sigh of relief because my feelings of anger weren’t unique, and the article validated them. Calling for harmony isn’t merely about being determined or creating positive energy. It’s about overcoming bigotry.
In the article, Russell argues that “these sentiments of ‘let’s come together’ are clearly coming from people whose ability to live comfortably in the United States doesn’t hinge on the outcome.” I agree.
The President’s harmful actions and offensive words and his cult-like following are not okay.
People will need to be held accountable for being racist, homophobic, xenophobic, misogynistic, and every other -istic and -phobic that exists in this world.
Some of the vile things that we’ve heard coming out of people’s mouths is unforgettable, etched into our consciousness like an epitaph for humanity. It seems that the more repulsive and the more triggering the sentiments, the more power people assigned to their statements and conduct.
How lasting these transgressions will be is unknown to any of us. I know the past four years’ events have created wounds so raw that I have trouble reconciling them. It’s been brutal, and it’s going to be a while before I can get past the trauma of it all.
Being half-Asian myself, I have experienced my share of racial slurs thrown at me and have been taunted for the way my eyes look. I’ve recently had to listen to ignorant folks refer to the COVID-19 coronavirus as the ‘Chinese Pandemic’ or the ‘Kung Flu,’ resulting in obnoxious treatment of anyone who looks Asian. It was attitudes such as those that lead to atrocities back during WWII committed against the Japanese-Americans.
How do I get past the fact that there are people as ignorant now as they were back then? Even with all of the education and resources available to us, now in this age of supposed ‘wokeness.’
How do I assuage differences with someone who responds to ‘Black Lives Matter’ is ‘All Lives Matter?’
Why should I be comfortable with the fact that over 241,000* people have died from COVID-19, and folks think it’s acceptable because most of them were probably old anyway? Why should I be okay with folks claiming the media exaggerates the pandemic, saying it’s not a big deal despite its effect on the entire world?
How do I put aside the fact that folks in the LBGTQ community have had their civil rights taken away by a rollback that could make it easier for hospitals and health care workers to discriminate against patients based on their gender or sexual orientation?
I’m not going to sit in a circle around the campfire, hold hands, sing songs, and pretend like all this stuff that divided us will go away because we want it to. Many of these systemic issues that currently exist will remain even after Donald Trump leaves office. These issues have endured over two eight-year Democratic presidencies over the last 30 years. Past administrations have not made a significant enough of an impact to eradicate them.
No, we will not easily overcome these issues without some profound change. And that means change at the fundamental core of how we think and, most importantly, how we react to prejudice and the actions we take to overcome it. Change is not going to come painlessly, nor will it come quickly.
Remember, we are talking about over 70 million people who voted for Trump**. Seventy million people chose to ignore his toxic behavior and broken moral compass. His supporters turned a blind eye to his gross negligence, lying, cheating, and buffoonery. They made excuses for his conduct because his ‘policies are good for our country and economy.’ They chose to support a man despite hundreds of examples of indecency and incompetence to further their own agenda, or perhaps to avoid paying more in taxes. Or maybe it’s out of fear of what real change would mean for their own comfortable lifestyles, elevated on the backs of others.
I take these assaults to our sensibilities personally, as should anyone else who wishes to live in the society that we paint that pretty picture of. We’re going to have a new President, one who’s projecting hope and optimism that we can once again become united. However, don’t let yourself continue to be gaslighted by optimism. Don’t accept the false belief that everything will be okay now that America has voted Trump out of office. It is not so.
It is abundantly clear that the past four years has further divided the country, as is evidenced by who voted for whom. Only 5 million more voted for Biden than for Trump.
Abhorrent words used by folks to incite violence, such as skillfully crafted phrases used by the President himself, created a detestation toward the ‘other side.’ These tactics are why we’re where we’re at today as a divided nation.
While many complained about, some even denounced Trump’s behavior, they still voted for him. As a result, I’ll always see those folks differently, as will many others who have had loved ones show support to their face yet betray them at the ballots. It’s become personal.
I believe the problem with how people have conducted themselves in the past four years is because things have become personal. Emotions have run high; they’ve been fueled and escalated by invalidation and attacks. Reactions have become a byproduct of our emotions’ intensity, obscuring our ability to solve the problems that made us angry.
There have been many well-meaning people who thought there was no harm in voting for someone who they thought would ‘Make America Great Again.’ However, some of these well-meaning people have been misguided, thinking these policies would be for the country’s greater good, without realizing that they would disenfranchise minorities, who still make up a large part of our country.
How do we move forward with so many of us in disagreement? I’m not sure what the right answer is; however, here’s what I’m not going to do.
I’m not going to accept the actions of those who mistreat others by spewing their vile rhetoric and enforcing policies that move us backward, not forward.
I’m not going to suddenly reconcile with those who enjoy tormenting others with their ‘holier than thou’ attitudes.
I’m not going to unite with people who see others as unequal and enable practices that favor those who only reflect what they see when they look in the mirror.
I’m not going to agree to disagree if it results in the disempowerment of those who are marginalized.
What I am going to try to do is stay engaged with those people who hold racist, homophobic, xenophobic, misogynistic, etc., views. I’ll do this hoping that one day they can see how that type of thinking and actions based on those values are harmful and divisive. I’ll ‘stay in the room’ rather than walk away (a phrase I heard used in the Facebook group ‘White People. DOING Something’).
I will make an effort to ‘get along,’ but I’ll not forget the work that we need to do.
We still need to have difficult discussions. How do we do that? Are they all of a sudden going to be civil? Fruitful? In the beginning, probably not.
Even though a septic President and his disciples will no longer be subjecting us to a daily barrage of insults (hopefully, we won’t have to endure any more of that), we need to continue to push the critical subjects. We cannot sweep it all under the rug to make our lives more comfortable.
We need to keep from falling back into complacency, ignoring the fact that systemic racism, homophobia, xenophobia, misogyny, etc. — bigotry — still exists. We need to remember all of that even when it is not thrown into our faces daily. It is especially essential for those who are not people of color or not members of marginalized groups to remember all of this since it can be easily forgotten when you aren’t subjected to those prejudices.
If we merely relent, then all of those vicious and damaging sentiments will go back to being closeted. They’re not going to go away without some meaningful but challenging conversations and a lot of understanding. And we cannot rectify them without actionable items such as advocating for equality, protesting injustice and discrimination, and voting for leaders who will uphold the values of equality for all and enable the creation of new laws that enforce civil rights.
We need to remain a little angry so that we don’t forget what we witnessed, not to allow ourselves to relax our stances on inequality and injustice. We need to channel that anger to remain vigilant so that we have the energy to continue to champion equality and justice.
The big question is, how do we appeal to those dismissive of the plights of those marginalized? The first step is to have people acknowledge that these issues are real. Then we proceed by putting away our emotions and appealing to logic, reason, facts, and evidence. Emotion has got us into this mess, and it’s created the chasm that seemingly cannot be closed. However, if we stick with the facts and the evidence, as if we were battling a court case, we may be able to prevail eventually.
And while we can FEEL angry or even rage, we need to put it aside and not act on it when dealing with others.
As I said before, I don’t have the answers. I’m not sure what the right answer is. I do have some thoughts, though.
It seems reasonable that we all should stop using ineffective methods to engage. Folks have been too loud. Social Media platforms have enabled clamor to a level where the voices are deafening, each cry drowning out the next. Opinions have become a chatterbox of chaos, where none of us can debate anything effectively.
Perhaps those who disagree that these issues exist should have a conversation with those who have experience in these issues. Maybe we should listen to those directly affected by denigration and provide them with a new platform to voice their grievances. Our current methods have not been constructive.
Folks have been ridiculing and berating other folks. They’ve been accusatory and harsh. We need to all stop thinking that we’re right and everyone else is wrong. Let’s stop trying to control what others believe. The change must come from within a person, sought willingly, not commanded. A person must take responsibility for their own words and actions. We can’t shame someone into apologizing (if they did, it wouldn’t be genuine). Nor can we humiliate people into changing their hearts.
The next time we encounter someone spewing intolerant dogma, or even casual microaggressions, before we ‘react,’ let’s ask a question. Will what I have to contribute to the conversation move us forward? Let’s stop using the methods we’ve been using and engage in ways that will propel us onward.
Resources:
* — Data as of November 12, 2020 @ 4:54 pm — CDC Covid Data Tracker
* — US Election 2020: Results and exit poll in maps and charts — BBC News
- ‘Post-election calls for unity are nothing but toxic positivity that ignores damage Trump’s done,’ written by Tonya Russell, NBC News
- ‘White People. DOING Something’ Facebook group
- What exactly is a microaggression? — By Jenée Desmond-Harris, VOX
